


holding on to stars

by luhans (aureate)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 19:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3145943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aureate/pseuds/luhans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo doesn't understand at first, not along the way either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	holding on to stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is un-betaed. Title is from fun.'s Stars.

It all starts in fall; the change of colors, the exchanged smiles, the touches, and the people around them.

Kyungsoo doesn’t understand it at first. He thinks Chanyeol is mocking him when he knocks at his door six in the morning, Jongin is still snoring in his own bed, bringing a bouquet of flowers. It takes Kyungsoo a lot of consideration to finally take the flowers instead of telling him to dump them.

He lets Chanyeol inside his shared dorm with Jongin; the grin on the tall boy’s face immediately radiating inside the room. He offers him a cup of coffee - because he is about to make one to save him from headache - after he puts the flowers into an empty jar that used to be filled with Jongin’s supply of sweets. He places the jar on his desk because it makes a beautiful picture below the pinned polaroids of him and his friends. Chanyeol looks satisfied seeing the flowers. Somehow it gives Kyungsoo a warm feeling, too.

Chanyeol offers to make the coffee instead, because he part-times as a barista at the coffee shop just two blocks before the subway station near the university. Kyungsoo visits there often with his friends, especially when finals is approaching. The tall boy finds his way towards the compact kitchen their dorm is providing for each room, handling the cups and water with ease since he has been doing this for his own roommate for three years already.

Kyungsoo decides to go and wake Jongin up. to avoid the awkwardness that hangs when it is just him and Chanyeol in the room. Though the other boy never seems to mind. Chanyeol doesn’t mind a lot of things when it comes to Kyungsoo, he remembers Jongdae said one day. He doesn’t understand what it means.

When Jongin refuses to be up and Kyungsoo is on the verge of kicking him off his bed, Chanyeol saves the day by placing his mug on Jongin’s head, earning a scream that would wake the whole floor up. Kyungsoo doesn’t feel sorry though, and when he glances at Chanyeol, who is laughing so hard with the coffee mug still in his hand, he doesn’t think he does, too.

 

  
☼

 

 

The wind gets colder. Kyungsoo sees some leaves already fall from the trees as he walks from the dorm to the university this morning. It would get worse as the day passes. He checks the weather forecast for the day; it’s going to rain somewhere around 7pm today and he is not bringing his umbrella with him, but that’s okay because Kyungsoo would be in his room, bundled in his blanket.

The thing is, he kinda forget that he already made plans with Jongdae to study at the cafe.

He fidgets in his seat, staring blankly at the page opened before him. Jongdae is discussing something with Joonmyun, Baekhyun occasionally jumping into the conversation but it’s a hard task since his mouth is almost filled with chips they ordered. Kyungsoo sighs. The digital clock on his laptop says that it’s twelve past six and the sky doesn’t look so good anymore. He needs to go back soon. No one in their circle resides in the dorm but him.

Just as he is about to say that he is going home, rain starts to fall - heavily at that, and Kyungsoo curses his luck.

By 8 pm, it’s only him and Jongdae left with their books and laptops. Joonmyun and Baekhyun went home with Joonmyun’s car because their houses are in the same area, and Jongdae insists to keep him company until the rain stops. The truth is he still wants to eat the leftover chips.

The clock strikes 9, and it’s still raining outside. Jongdae excuses himself, his house is quite far from the university. It leaves Kyungsoo alone. He places his head on the wooden table, feeling a little bit frustrated and depressed. He tries not to think of his warm bed in the dorm.

A paper cup filled with hot chocolate is placed in front of his face, surprising him. It’s Chanyeol. By the size of the shadow looming over him and the familiar color of apron that’s blocking his view, of course it’s Chanyeol. Kyungsoo doesn’t even need to look up that it’s him.

“Let’s go back.” Chanyeol’s voice is warm and tender. “I have my umbrella.”

Kyungsoo drinks half of the chocolate when Chanyeol comes out of the staff room, wearing his knitted sweater that makes him looks younger than his actual age. It makes him looks warmer too, but that’s probably only Kyungsoo.

The walk to their dorm is a painful fifteen minutes that consists of awkward silence and more awkward occasional shoulder bumps. It is only half of the way when Chanyeol has to shift closer to avoid splash from a car passing-by and swear at the driver with lousy language. Kyungsoo grins at him, and just like that the ice cube around them melts down, replaced with conversations that fills his heart with warmth.

At the lobby of the dorm, Chanyeol stops abruptly to take the umbrella off, causing Kyungsoo to tumble and bump onto his back. And that’s when Kyungsoo realizes that Chanyeol smells of coffee and cinnamon, and that he wouldn’t mind inhaling the scent forever.

 

  
☼

 

 

The next time there is a rapid knock on their door, it’s Jongin who actually grunts and rolls down from his bed. A loud thump and a long ‘ _ow--ow--_ ’ are heard along with the impatient knocking in the background. Kyungsoo decides to pretend that he is still asleep. He curls up a bit more around his blanket when he hears Jongin unlocking the door.

“Snow!”

Chanyeol’s excited voice rings around the room. Kyungsoo groans, burying his head deeper into his pillow. The excitement apparently has influenced Jongin. He bounces with so much noises back into the room to change his clothes.

“Kyungsoo, come on, it’s first snow this year.” Jongin attempts at dragging his blanket off but Kyungsoo is persistent when it comes to tug-of-war. No one has beaten him in the game. Jongin soon gives up, opts to running to the hallway instead.

Kyungsoo gets up. His hair is a mess from the brief war with Jongin before. Perhaps he could go outside and take picture of the snow to update his instagram account that has been deserted for weeks, and go back to continue his sleep.

“Kyungsoo.”

He turns his head, startled by the appearance of Chanyeol. The taller man is bundled up in his coat and scarf already. He looks ridiculous in them.

“Yes,” he says, voice still hoarse from sleep. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He grunts, getting up to get some warmer clothes.

Chanyeol tugs on his sleeve impatiently. He keeps on whining about how they would miss the snow. Kyungsoo pays that with lacing his sneakers in such a slow way. It’s always fun to watch the devastated look on the taller boy.

They race to the dorm’s lobby. Kyungsoo loses his cool by the second floor. He manages to push Chanyeol somewhere between the second and the first floor, but not causing much damage to his lanky legs. He gets at the lobby first first, laughingand ducking from the taller’s attempt at choking his neck.

It’s cold outside, and Kyungsoo immediately regrets for not bringing his gloves as well. His fingers almost freeze, but he still manages to take a few pictures of the snow falling from sky with his phone. Jongin spots him and drags him to take picture with the dorm residents. They take one as well, one that Jongin uploads onto his KakaoStory with the caption of w/ the roommate from hell and Kyungsoo leaves an angry sticker at that.

He places his phone back in his coat’s pocket, so he could rub his hands together and breathes out warmth that only lasts a few seconds on them. Chanyeol laughs, taking picture of him and teasing him for being such a grandpa. Kyungsoo’s sarcasm must have freeze along, as he finds himself not minding Chanyeol’s teasing and giving him a grin instead.

“It’s really cold,” he complains, and Chanyeol chuckles, taking one of his hands in his and pulling him closer.

He takes out his phone and aims the front camera at their faces, urging Kyungsoo to shift closer. As Chanyeol counts down into one, Kyungsoo manages to form a perfect V-sign with his free hand.

As he tells Chanyeol to send him the pictures they have just taken, Kyungsoo pretends he doesn't remember that their hands are still intertwined with each other. And he pretends he doesn't mind when the taller man still holds his hand as they walk back into the dorm.

Though, secretly, he really doesn't mind.

 

  
☼

 

 

Then it becomes a normal thing between them; Chanyeol knocking at his door in the morning, making coffee for both of them and sometimes Jongin. He has been getting used to listen to Chanyeol's chatters as they walk together to the college buildings, even when they don't share classes. He would visit Chanyeol at his working hours, waiting with his laptop and a cup of coffee until he gets off. And they would walk together to the dorm, hands held between their bodies, or sometimes it's Chanyeol's arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder, pulling him closer casually.

He has been too used to the warmth the other offers as they press their bodies together; shoulder to shoulder, toes to toes.

His friends don't tease him about it--well, Baekhyun and Jongdae do at some point, but he shrugs it off professionally without forgetting to send death glares at their direction. Jongin thinks it's cool, too. He whines for his coffee one day when Chanyeol doesn't come to their room because he catches flu, and Kyungsoo might intentionally throws the sachet of instant coffee at his him before he heads out to look for Chanyeol at his room down the hall.

Chanyeol welcomes him warmly, pulling him into his embrace and immediately pushing him off because he is afraid Kyungsoo would catch the cold from him. That is when Kyungsoo realizes that being pushed away by Chanyeol, even when it comes with a reason, leaves a pang in his heart.

He presses the back of his hand to Chanyeol's forehead, checking how bad is the fever to make him pushing him off. It's hot, Kyungsoo notes, but Chanyeol is still staring down at him with that smile he reserves specially for him. He sighs, telling the taller boy to go back to his bed and that he would be back after going out to buy medicines and food.

Chanyeol, surprisingly, nods weakly and retreats back to his bed instead of begging him to stay.

 

  
☼

 

 

Having Chanyeol around him feels so normal to Kyungsoo that he forgets that it might not be so normal to other people.

"Say, Soo, how long have you and Chanyeol been dating?" Baekhyun asks one evening, when Kyungsoo is furiously typing up another paper that is due in two days.

They are cramped at their usual corner in the cafe, busier now that finals week is approaching. Joonmyun shakes his head, continuing highlighting another line from his thick psychology textbook, while Jongdae bursts out laughing next to him at the question.

"Why can't you ask me some materials for tomorrow's quiz instead," Kyungsoo deadpans. He wriggles his fingers, easing them from the cramps.

"No, no, answer that, Soo. I would like to know, too. You have been hiding that from us too long," says Jongdae. He takes the paper cup next to his laptop only to realize later that it's Joonmyun's instead of his, mourning over the sweetness that the other boy always keeps for his coffee.

Kyungsoo inhales deeply. He stares back at three pairs of expecting eyes. "I don't know myself," he says truthfully. He doesn't know if Chanyeol and him are dating. He doesn't even know what to label their relationship; they have never discussed it before.

"Why are you being so secretive?" Baekhyun whines. He attempts at a pout that stopped working on Kyungsoo since the tenth month of their friendship. "It doesn't hurt to spill some."

"I don't know," he insists, raising his voice a little. He doesn't know, but he knows that he wants to know. "Why don't you ask Chanyeol?" He says desperately.

Joonmyun raises his eyebrows. "Good idea," he says, turning to look at the kitchen station to check if he is there. "Oi, Chanyeol!" That gets the tall boy's attention immediately. The fact that there is currently no customer lining up at the cashier makes it easier. Joonmyun motions for him to come, and Kyungsoo pretends to be busy working on his paper.

"What's up." Chanyeol is grinning ear-to-ear. He places his hand on their table, close enough for Kyungsoo to hold if he isn't typing.

"Are you and Kyungsoo dating?" Jongdae is the one asking with such bluntness, and it's too late for Kyungsoo to wish he could turn himself into a bird and flee himself from the scene.

"Yes," Chanyeol's answer rolls out easily from his lips, like it is the most obvious answer, like the worry that slowly built in Kyungsoo shouldn’t be there at all. "Why are you asking?" His pulls his hand from the table, placing it behind Kyungsoo's neck instead. He strokes the soft hair that grows on his nape, something that he does for the other boy often lately. It helps easing up some nervous knots, but he still feels nauseous.

"Because Kyungsoo wouldn't tell us," Baekhyun pouts.

"Why?" Chanyeol frowns at him, and Kyungsoo keeps his mouth shut, leaning out from the warm touch on the back of his neck instead. He hopes Chanyeol doesn’t notice that.

He is saved by the bell at the door, signaling that a customer is coming. Chanyeol reluctantly lets go of his hand, and excuses himself to go back to work.

When they walk to the dorm together that night, Kyungsoo shoves his hands deep in his pockets so Chanyeol can't hold them.

 

  
☼

 

 

They are hogging Jongin's bed; books, papers and snacks lying everywhere. His roommate is staying overnight at the studio in preparation of his final performance, and Kyungsoo lets Chanyeol invited himself in. He hopes Jongin would be okay with them studying on his bed, Kyungsoo could clean the mess later and make it even tidier than Jongin usually has.

Chanyeol is lying down comfortably on the bed, his reading glasses perched up on his nose as he tries to solve another problem that the book is giving him. Kyungsoo stays at the end of the bed, trying to concentrate on the notes Baekhyun copied for him. He may have occasionally stole nervous glances at Chanyeol, quickly looking away when the taller boy catches him staring.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks softly, his book set aside. He sits up, shifting closer to the other man. He takes the notes from Kyungsoo's hand, ignoring his protests, and forcing him to look at him. "You have been acting weird, Soo." There is worry in his eyes, and Kyungsoo wants to turn around, wants to shield himself from that look because he hates it on Chanyeol. That look makes him weak.

But Chanyeol is a persistent boy, just like Kyungsoo is, and that's why they have it worked out so well.

"Soo," he begs with his tone. His hands pulls the smaller boy closer, tugging him so he is almost sitting on Chanyeol's lap.

Kyungsoo looks down, staring at the spot where his thigh presses on Chanyeol's like it could burn down holes. "Are we boyfriends?" He asks, almost whispering because he couldn't believe it himself. It is such a stupid and childish question. He should be ashamed of himself.

Chanyeol purses up his lips. Even when he is not looking, Kyungsoo could tell that he is pained by the question. "Are we not?" he asks back. Kyungsoo doesn't want to hurt Chanyeol, but he doesn't want to get hurt either.

"I don't know," he says, because he really does. "You said that we are."

"I thought we are," Chanyeol says. "Am I reading the signs wrong? Do you - Don't you -" _Like me? Love me?_

Kyungsoo's hands frantically look for Chanyeol's, the only remedy he could think of. He laces their fingers together, pressing them so hard that no air could get through them. "No, it's not like that," he looks up and immediately feels bad when he meets Chanyeol's sad eyes. "I like you," he breathes out, warm and heavy against his cold lips. "I like you a lot." He keeps saying that, and Chanyeol pulls him into a tight hug, like he would never let go. "It's just -"

"Kyungsoo," Chanyeol whispers against his ear. It sends chill throughout his body. "I love you," he says, and Kyungsoo bursts into tears. He doesn't even know why. Chanyeol panics hearing the sniffs. He pulls himself back and checks on Kyungsoo. It surprises him to see the other boy with tears. Out of all reactions, cry is not what he aimed for. He chuckles, reaching out to wipe the tears off his eyes.

Kyungsoo blinks away the tears in his eyes, trying to struggle in Chanyeol’s arms but the taller boy is just too strong. He gives up, placing his forehead on Chanyeol’s shoulder instead, inhaling the too familiar scent to help him calming down.

“Why haven’t we kissed already?” He asks, because it’s what boyfriends do, isn’t it? All this time Kyungsoo doubts their relationship because Chanyeol hasn’t made his move to --

“Oh, _Soo_.” Chanyeol chuckles softly, and suddenly Kyungsoo feels like he is the most ridiculous thing in the world. He shouldn’t have asked that. He feels stupid.

Chanyeol presses his warm palms gently to Kyungsoo’s cheeks, pulling his head closer. Kyungsoo closes his eyes, letting the other boy do the work as he closes the gap between their lips. Chanyeol’s lips are warm and kind of chapped, but he doesn’t mind. He parts his lips, coaxing Chanyeol to deepen the kiss. He responds with eagerness, moving his hands to Kyungsoo’s waist. They stay there a while, pressing warmth onto the skin before he pulls him into his lap. Feeling bold, he sneaks his fingers beneath Kyungsoo’s sweatshirt. He strokes the warm skin just above his waistbad, earning a soft moan from the shorter boy.

Chanyeol pulls back slightly, catching on his breath. He stares at Kyungsoo’s red face and couldn’t help but fall in love all over again. He leans forward and presses kisses along his neck. "I could keep kissing you if you want," he murmurs against Kyungsoo’s collarbone, spreading warmth there.

Kyungsoo chuckles, hiding his blushing face in Chanyeol's hair.

"I would like that a lot,” he whispers, feeling content. “ _Boyfriend_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first ever serious chansoo fic! /w\


End file.
